family..

today was a really good day it started off goood and still ended in somewhat a goodway..
well today after my cousins and i played tennis..we headed home to watch quarantine and that movie is fucken scary....anyways afterwards we started chit chatting and catching up..well i was doing most of the catching up but oh well..it felt good seeing my cousins again and talking like we use to talk...its been like 3 months since i've seen any of them really..and now that i've seen them and updated myself with whats going on in Norwalk..i missed out on alot of things...but not since i'm caught up i don't feel so left out after all.

after tennis we finished talking and went home when we arrived today my mom was leaving exactly at the time we just got home..and she tells us to hurry and park because they had just called my mom letting her know my grandpa's blood pressure dropped. The instant i heard the news it struck me like a hammer in my chest. My grandpa was taken to the ICU..if you don't know what that is..that's pretty much the place were there constantly monitoring your status because of the condition your in is severe. The moment we left my brother and i called our cousins and stuff to tell there moms and they called my aunts and uncles who were the children of my grandpa because this might be the last days of my grandpa..

the moment that we had arrived at the hospital at like 12:20 am. We walk into the ICU and the moment i saw my grandpa lying in the bed with all the tubes and oxygen mask on him my heart dropped and my eyes flooded with tears...the thing i hate the most..is to see the one i love suffer the most unbearable pain and do nothing about it..sometimes i wonder why us. I mean i'm not doubting that GOD is out there to get me..but i always wondering..why hasn't he answered my prayers when i'm in the most need of them. I mean i understand that prayer shouldn't be done only in need of it...but honestly..i'm not the greatest catholic, and i'm sure he knows it. I only wish he would just answer my prayers when i'm in need of them but i also understand that GOD has a plan for everyone and everything happens for a reason...and that there are times where GOD might take the ones we love at the time we don't want him to but theres nothing we can do..but pray..and trust in his plan. But honestly...i've had a rough life right now and everyone deserves a little something good..when your having a bad day. And i ask myself...where's my litte something good?...and i can't see it...or at least i didn't realize until now..that that little something good in my life...was closer that i think..and i thank GOD for that little something good because it's helped me be the person i am now...it helped me deal with the rough times because although there might be the toughest moments in your life..but you always have to remember..they're always followed by the good..or even the greatest moments in your life. I thank GOD for that little something good because it's made me regain the person i once was years ago. Thank you for grand/edison <3 :)

Although i might be going through some shitty stuff..today was a day i felt like my cousins and i got closer again..we staying in the hospital cafeteria for hours talking about old memories and old times we had and i really felt we regain the bond we once had before..i love my cousins...because we're wherever we need to be for each other.


well...thats it for the evening i have work at 10.30
gooodnight.

god bless tatay. i love you with all my heart.